The Paradox of Resilience

By Kathryn Arbic, RMT
Registered Massage Therapist | ART® Certified Provider
Doctor of Veterinary Medicine (DVM)
Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology — Candidate, Yorkville University

We are often told to “listen to your body.” But what if you have spent years learning not to?

For some people, pushing through discomfort is not a character flaw. It is a skill. Military personnel, first responders, athletes, healthcare professionals, caregivers, and people who work in high-pressure environments may learn to function effectively despite fatigue, discomfort, stress, and physical demands. In certain situations, overriding what the body is saying is exactly what allows us to keep going. That ability can be incredibly valuable.

The difficulty can arise when the circumstances change, but the strategy remains the same.

A person who has learned to override fatigue, discomfort, or physical signals may continue doing so long after the situation requires it. What was once an adaptive response can gradually become a default way of functioning. The person may not experience themselves as ignoring their body at all. They may simply have a very high threshold for what they consider important enough to respond to.

When pushing through becomes the norm

The body is constantly providing information. Fatigue, muscle tension, changes in breathing, reduced coordination, disrupted sleep, irritability, stiffness, changes in energy, and a general sense that something feels different can all provide information about how we are responding to the demands being placed on us.

Pain is one form of information, but it is not the only one.

Not everyone experiences or interprets these signals in the same way. Some people are naturally very aware of subtle changes in their bodies, while others have learned, consciously or unconsciously, to place those signals in the background. Perhaps discomfort was never considered a reason to stop. Perhaps stopping was not an option. Perhaps being dependable, productive, tough, or capable meant continuing regardless of how the body felt.

Over time, “I'm fine” can become less of a description of how the body actually feels and more of a statement about what the person expects themselves to be capable of doing.

That distinction matters.

The paradox of resilience

There is a common message in wellness culture that we should always listen to our bodies. There is also a very different message that resilience means pushing through, staying disciplined, and refusing to give up.

Interestingly, both contain truth.

Sometimes we do need to push through. Discomfort is not always a warning that something is wrong, and there are situations in which continuing despite fatigue, fear, or physical discomfort is necessary. Learning that we can tolerate discomfort without immediately reacting to it can itself be a valuable skill.

The problem is not necessarily the ability to override the body's signals. The problem can arise when we lose the ability to recognize when overriding is no longer necessary, or when the cost of doing so is becoming too high.

A strategy that was adaptive in one environment may not remain adaptive in another.

When the body's signals become harder to recognize

One of the challenges with this pattern is that the body does not always communicate through dramatic pain.

A person may instead notice that they are increasingly stiff, recovering more slowly, sleeping poorly, feeling chronically “wired,” experiencing changes in energy, or needing significantly more effort to accomplish things that once felt relatively easy. They may notice that their body feels different during periods of rest or vacation, only to return to the same patterns when the demands of everyday life resume.

Sometimes there is no obvious moment when things changed. The person simply begins to feel that their body is not functioning quite the way it used to.

This is one reason it can be useful to look beyond the question of whether something hurts and become curious about patterns. What happens when demands increase? What happens when they decrease? Does the body recover between periods of activity? Does movement change with rest? Are there signals that consistently appear before symptoms become more significant?

These questions do not assume that stress is the cause of every physical symptom, nor do they suggest that symptoms are imaginary or “all in your head.” Physical structures, injuries, disease, movement patterns, sleep, stress, environment, behaviour, and many other factors can interact in complex ways.

The point is not to replace one explanation with another.

It is to widen the frame.

Learning to recognize the early signals

There is an important difference between listening to the body and becoming hypervigilant about every sensation.

Listening does not mean that every ache requires rest, or that every sensation should determine what we do. It means becoming familiar enough with our own patterns that we can recognize meaningful changes and make informed adjustments.

Sometimes a signal may suggest that we need to change how we are doing something. Sometimes it may suggest that we need recovery. Sometimes it may simply be information that can be acknowledged without requiring any action at all. And sometimes a persistent or changing symptom deserves further assessment.

The skill is learning to distinguish between these possibilities.

That requires curiosity.

Instead of asking only, “Does it hurt?” we might begin asking broader questions. How well am I recovering between periods of activity? Do I feel different after adequate rest? Have my baseline energy, mobility, or stiffness gradually changed? Am I routinely pushing through fatigue because slowing down feels uncomfortable? Do I notice that I have gone too far only after my body forces me to stop? What signals have I become accustomed to dismissing?

These questions aren't about becoming more fragile.

They are about becoming more informed.

When resilience means something different

Perhaps the most interesting part of this conversation is that resilience itself may need to be understood more broadly.

We often associate resilience with endurance: the ability to tolerate difficulty, keep moving, and continue when things are hard. That is certainly one form of resilience.

But resilience also involves adaptation. It means responding to changing circumstances rather than relying on the same strategy regardless of what the situation requires.

Sometimes strength is overriding the body's signals long enough to get through something difficult.

Sometimes strength is recognizing that the situation has changed and responding differently.

Sometimes the most resilient thing we can do is continue.

Sometimes it is rest.

Sometimes it is changing direction.

And sometimes it is simply becoming curious enough to notice what our body has been communicating before it has to communicate more loudly.

The goal isn't to make the body obey the mind, or to make every decision based on how we feel in the moment. It is to develop a better conversation between the two.

References

Bornemann, B., et al. (2023). What is the role of interoception in the symptom experience of people with a chronic condition? A systematic review.Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 147, 105142. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2023.105142

Maglione, M. A., Chen, C., Bialas, A., Motala, A., Chang, J., Akinniranye, G., & Hempel, S. (2022). Stress control for military, law enforcement, and first responders: A systematic review. RAND Health Quarterly, 9(3), 20. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35837521/

Oliveira, I., Garrido, M. V., & Bernardes, S. F. (2022). On the body-mind nexus in chronic musculoskeletal pain: A scoping review. European Journal of Pain, 26(6), 1186–1202. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejp.1944

© 2026 Kathryn Arbic / Callisto Therapeutics. All rights reserved. Ottawa-Carleton Place, Ontario, Canada.